TheBB Wednesdays - Long Gone

“You know those movies where the girl is all over the guy who doesn’t give two sh!ts about her?”

Yes, that depressing line brought to you by Victoria is just about the way I'd like to start off this Wednesday's birds and the bees blog.

[I'm so sorry I haven't posted anything in a week! I actually thought I had put in a post but I guess that didn't go through - NONSENSE.]

Anyway.

Today is part one for realizing that every person who runs through your life leaves their footprints behind. Today's story is (again) from our heroine Vicky who is not only battling whatever is going on with Ben but is also feeling extremely...hm, what's the word...wistful, I suppose. You know how you know you're really over someone? When the memories don't do anything more violent than make you smile or make you frown. Remember how I was talking about those stories and experiences that everyone (girl and guy, really) share that make them cautious about crushes and love?

Good. Now with that in mind, I want you to reminisce about those stories.

And with that in mind, I want you to go to the memory that still rings the loudest for you.

There.

You've found it! This is the person who, for some godforsaken reason, still has a hold on a tiny bit of you. And if you have more than one person who fits the bill, well, God help you then.

Talking to my girls - Vicky has someone whom she had a thing with for over a year and they were unable to remain friends at the end of it. Most of us thought he was no good because he held waaaay too much power in that ship (relationship), and I at least thought it was a good thing that they quit talking.

Yaay for these thorns in our literary sides.

Everybody who's ever been around anybody has got one of these.

Whether you choose to acknowledge this or not, he (or she) is a bit of an Achilles' heel for you.

Thinking about your Achilles heel is an addiction for a looooonnnggg time after it's over.

I've got one! And I can tell you about him since he's nowhere anywhere near me, nor has he been involved in my life for a very long time.

High school. Soph year. It's like the most perfect thing in my little teeny bopper head and the boy can do no wrong. It's the entire Disney cake of romance served to me on a platter - he's funny and Even as I sortofkindanotreally wonder why I have no backbone when it comes to him, I enjoy the rush. The rush is crazy. The rush is good. The rush is breathtaking. Until he turns around and takes it away. Granted, my story is a bit complicated since nothing was ever clearly defined one way or another but it doesn't change it.

He's my own personal shackle, the warning that says 'HEY! If you trust too easily, it'll come back to smack you in the face!". But he's also something I look back to fondly - yeah, it sucked (and oh boy, did it really effing suck) when it was over and it ended terribly but it wasn't all bad.

Okay, prepare yourself since I'm going to get sappy here-

I think of him from time to time. He's a college basketball player for a school in NYC and every now and then, I'll mistakenly catch a glimpse of him on tv. I always change the channel. There's no point in indulging in a little dreaming.

It's not that there's bitterness or anything. It's just that I don't fancy a walk down memory lane when the walk will make me feel tired at the end!

For others, it's that you don't know how to quit them (hahaha, yes BMref) and sometimes the idea of them is like a little light you've been hiding under a bushel.

It's like a demon baby that you keep in your room and feed it little pieces of dreams and hopes. You know that it's not good for you, and that nothing will ever come of it, and that you're quite possibly delusional to still hold a flame for this person but goshdarnit! You still like to think of that one time 8 months ago when he told you he thought you were the smartest girl ever or that other time where he touched your hair and-

BLAH.

Is he thinking about me? Do I cross his mind from time to time? Hm, maybe I should stalk him on facebook or ask one of his friends for his number? Or what if I just kind of figure out his schedule and put myself in the places where he's going to be? Actually, wouldn't it just be better if I show up at his house on a rainy night wearing a trench coat with nothing underneath?!

Yep.

That's when the crazy-Jekyll&Hyde-obsession-stalker thinking begins. And that's when you need to cut the ish, simmer down, and remember what's past is past.

 Talking to Vicky today, she believes that she’ll always be a little in love with him, that a part of her goes where he does.

"I wish he loved me," she says.

Well, shoot.

Don’t we all?

But I think once something is done it's DONE. And I think she knows that deep down too! We all do know it's over but that stubborn hope just won't die that maybe he'll turn around and figure out that 'Duh! I'm supposed to marry you! We're tots perfect for each other!'. Hah. I don't find the idea of pursuing old flames romantic. I know it's easier said etcetera but-

It died, didn't it?
It's over. It's done.

And as long as you know you tried when you had the chance, then you should be able to fully make peace with the fact that they're never going to be yours.

So...you know those movies where the girl can't get over the guy who doesn’t give two sh!ts about her?

Let's not be her.
If it's meant to be, something is going to toss you two together by fire and by force.