Recap of summer -
I worked like four different jobs - my inability to keep it on the dl is a joke. By far my most interesting was a stint as a telemarketer. I actually had two different telemarketing jobs - one at VIP Publishers and the other for Martinez Marketing. The first was a 9 to 5, six day a week job. This was the interesting one. I basically sold magazines to unwilling people.
It was a little bit like lying.
They [ 'we' I suppose] attempt to sell you a magazine subscription after letting you know your name has been entered into a sweepstakes. The Sweepstakes are real, the prizes are real. It's just that they ['we'] fib a little when we tell you about the magazines! You can have anything in our database, for sure, but once you sing up you are locked in. They don't tell you that. Hell, I didn't even know that till my third week there!
Poor sods.
Anyway, when people weren't telling me to go screw myself or implying that I was born before my parent's marriage or that I was a female dog...it was actually pretty interesting. Some tend to feel a sense of comfort with a friendly stranger on the phone! I heard some very varied lifestories - some stuff that made me sympathize, some that made me laugh, some that even made me tear up a little! It was a good job even though I never hit quota!
But this post is sort of like a thereupitic verbal diarrhea that I spewed out today. To keep to the authenticity of it, I think I'll just keep the words and improper grammar and terrible word usage as they are.
Aftermath
Sometimes it feels like a scar
A wet wet scar
A sensitive scar
And when fingers run over it, it shivers
but the fingers are my own and I tease it because I like the pain of remembering
Sometimes I don't like the pain of remembering but I figure I might have to remind myself
I haven't fallen in love again.
Well, sort of. It was brief and I ran before I could accept it
I'm a coward, the real kind.
I do cowardly things and then flaunt it proudly so that I can call my own faults
before anyone else's does
Sometimes in the books I read, the girls who call their own bluffs are the ones who get the worthy guy in the end.
This is really not a book...or a movie...or a love story.
And it's hard sometimes to wake up even four years later and think...hm...what happened? Where did I go wrong? Was it me? Wasn't it me?
Was it him? Wasn't it him?
Wasn't it both?
I dunno. maybe that's why I love romance novels so much. I;m wising up to the idea that you have to be someone's cup of tea.
You're not nobody's cup of tea
So there's gotta be someone out there but in the meantime, can't I find a nice torrid affair to while away the time?
Do I have to be the kind of person who buys so deeply into the whole 'sex is love' idea that it's hard to envision one without the other?
It sucks to be a throwback to an era where no one monkeyed around with someone who wasn't marriageable.
It also sucks to consistently be the single one in a group of friends as interesting and more confident than me
It's like overcoming a phobia, you know how they say that the more you're confronted with the thing you are terrified of, the tougher your skin is regarding it?
maybe it's true. i'll never know.
i spend about 5% of my time crying over someone who i can't seem to completely put behind me
i spend about 5% of that time wondering if i was wrong, 10% of it making up dramatic day dreams in which we reconcile and the remaining 75% thinking of ways to get around and over and under the feelings that seem to spout from the neverending fountain of God knows what.
School actually started yesterday in Sometown, Somecity, USA. I swear to you, I'm like a three year old on turkey...by 1:30PM I was ZZZing through my class. I have two classes MW and three TTh and absolutely nothing on Friday's. H$!!'s yeah. Okay, so blogging needs to be done more frequently. I say this every single year.
New Year's Resolutions -
1) Work out. Everyone says this. But if you're going to talk about it, be about it, right? With that go-getter mentality in mind, I went ahead and signed up for two workout classes on campus. The first starts Jan31st and runs until before Spring Break, the second is actually a women's self defense class. Since I'm paying for it, best believe your girl is attending it...WOOT MUTHAFLIPPIN WOOT!
2) Clean. I'm oh so messy and it sometimes makes life difficult. Twice a week, I'm going to pick things up. Hopefully, it's a habit that keeps?
3) Write more. YEAHHHH done it! I did so much fanfic over break, I was like 'OMGIMAMAZING'. SO I guess I just need to keep up with that.
4) Eat somewhat healthily. This is going to be the hardest thing ever. Alright, so I love lots of new things almost every single week.
5) Attend class. Easier said than done... ZzzZzz...
That's it. I don't understand the people with a billion resolutions - you know in your heart of hearts you're never going to actually go through with 80% of that list. MEH.
So Trendy Thursdays!
I'm totally totally loving a few things this week that I did not know about last week. And some things I've just always loved and only getting to tell you about now...
Music Crush(es): Cloud
Pandora is AH-MAZE-ING. It has introduced me to so much music I would otherwise never have been exposed to and 'Cloud' is one of them. I have a particular soft-spot for lounge, house, & electronica. This came on and I was jamming out automatically.
and
Also in love with Electrik Red ---> took two years but the album is now on my laptop! Can't stop listening to this song...on repeat.
Girl Crush: Alison Sudol from A Fine Frenzy
If I ever met her in person...I'd probably just cry. And I'm not kidding when I say that.
Boy Crush: Matt Lewis
I don't understand how I missed his transformation from
to
Yes, that's the fat bumbling kid from Harry Potter.
My reaction -
then
Hahahahahahahahahahah goodness gracious. Real talk though, he's the perfect example of puberty done right. Like holy sugar honey ice tea! Even as I type this, I'm just shaking my head like
HELLO? IS THAT YOU NEVILLE?! Because you can be the father of my children, kthnxbyeeeeee.
Show+Movie Love:
VAMPIRE DIARIES.
I've been sleeping on this show and finally just blazed through the first two seasons in about three days at my sister's house. It was ah-maze-ing. I laughed, I swore, I cried, I cooed. Goodness. So incredible. DONT WANT TO READ THE BOOKS - just want to watch the show.
Ocean's Eleven.
Finally watched it and really liked it, interestingly enough.
Book Love:
Rereading Jo Bev for some reason this week - Company of Rogues, what what! I didn't ever finish the Rogue circle books so I'm going to start The Devil's Heiress in a bit since I read all the ones
before that.
Clothing Obsession:
SOCKS. Like high-knee what I used to wear in Catholic school type socks. I think it's because Urban Outfitter had a sale on high socks so I was literally like this is amazing! I added myself to lookbook.nu (my sister will be pissed bc I always steal stuff she loves but HEY!) and I like to see all the funky
stuff people put together on there. I want to incorporate a traditional African piece into a lot of my outfits but don't know where to start! meh
Okay check this -
or this -
or this!
Yep, I want this look for when it gets warmer where I live. But I suspect this is what I'm going to end up looking like lol -
I have nothing against Monsieur Castaglioni but his stuff's just always too far out for me. And that look <------ is not one I enjoy or want to replicate smh.
Alright. It's 2AM. The witching hour. Except not.
Adieu, mes amies!
OOOOOOOHHHH PS! I got featured in Abby's World Natural Hair Section :) Check the link 0_0
