I realize I am at a crossroads.
I feel like what I decide from this point, this day, this moment onwards is going to change the rest of my existence. I think anyone with a dream who isn't living their dream comes to this point. The unknown is greater than the knowledge of the known but what if the path your own isn't necessarily known either? Which is better - to stay on the one while reaching for the other, or to abandon the one to fully go for the other?
Which is easier?
It would be waaaaay easier to do if one dream wasn't mutually exclusive to another. And I have many many dreams - but the two biggest ones couldn't be further from each other on the spectrum. So here I am, deciding to go after the other dream somehow because man I want to singSINGsingsing.s.i.n.g.sing. Ooh Lawd, I want to sing! But if you want to sing, you have to run the entire circuit. You have to perform around your city and at your school, you have to travel, you have to leave.
I have to leave.
And I still have shizza to do here since I'm a college senior.
It's not that I doubt my dream. It's that I doubt the timeliness of pursuing it. Because, hell, let's be real - if I got a callback, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I would drop everything to pursue it. I would go at it like it was life and death. Because it is a matter of life and death. What would I do without some source of music in my life?
But then there's school. Which I love for the experience and not necessarily for the academics. It would be an easy choice between class and music. Hahaha, it'd be like..zero choice really. But 'school' is tied into 'family' and if they're paying for it, then I damn well need to finish up my shit and then go after what I want. Which is kind of a problem since I'm already sort of planning on either LA or Houston next month.
So what has been decided?
Hell if I know!
No comments:
Post a Comment